When social media becomes the bully

Henriette Lamprecht – A rare sight it is not. A teenager clasping a bedazzled cell phone checking out Taylor Swift’s latest release of a video on YouTube, Justin Bieber’s twitter feed, a conversation between classmates on WeChat and a picture or two of a friend’s vacation on Facebook.

Visiting and using social media websites is among the most common activities of today’s children and adolescents. Offering a portal to entertainment and communication, social media sites have grown exponentially in recent years.

This has however brought potential problems to users and families alike, including cyber bullying, “Facebook depression”, sexting, and exposure to inappropriate content.

According to the American Academy of Paediatrics, because of their limited capacity for self-regulation and susceptibility to peer pressure, children and adolescents are at some risk as they engage in and experiment with social media.

They can find themselves on sites and in situations that are not age-appropriate. Research suggests that the content of some social media sites can influence youth to engage in risky behaviours. In addition, social media provides venues for cyber bullying and sexting, amongst other dangers. Young people who are more at risk offline also tend to be more at risk online.

Research indicates frequent online expressions of offline behaviour, such as bullying, clique-forming and sexual experimentation, have introduced problems like cyber bullying privacy issues, and “sexting” too.

Other problems that merit awareness include Internet addiction and concurrent sleep deprivation.

Cyber bullying, the most common online risk for teens and a peer-to-peer risk, is defined as deliberately using digital media to communicate false, embarrassing, or hostile information about another person.

Although “online harassment” is often used interchangeably with the term “cyber bullying”, it is actually a different entity. Online harassment seems not to be as common as offline harassment, and participation in social networking sites does not put most children at risk of online harassment.

However, cyber bullying is quite common, can happen to any young person online, and can cause profound psychosocial outcomes including depression, anxiety, severe isolation, and tragically, suicide.

According to local psychologist, Dr Shaun Whittaker, social media undoubtedly has a significant impact on teenagers and the youth in general.

“They tend to use this kind of media excessively as it has become a crucial way for them to interact with one another. It is almost compulsory for every teenager to be on social media. In so many ways the cellular phone has emerged as a status symbol and puts tremendous pressure on young people to own one to conform.”

Whittaker says it is vital to teach young people the necessary skills to handle bullying as it is probably the most important way to stop bullying on social media.

“If teenagers know how to approach this verbal and emotional abuse then it is possible to counteract it. But, because they are emotionally insecure, teenagers often find it difficult to stop the bullying themselves.”

According to him cyber bullying is very common because most teenagers are connected through social media. The latter has become the main form of communication among young people and is an easy option for the bully.

“The bully simply has to reach for the cell phone or laptop.”

Whittaker says bullying is more of a problem in primary schools as that age group finds it so much harder to cope with this negative phenomenon.

“But primary school youth use social media less compared to high school students. This is why cyber bullying targets teens more. If anything, our anti-bullying programs in general should prioritise primary schools.”

The most common form of bullying is teasing, says Whittaker.

“In fact, given the abnormal awareness of physical features in Namibia, teasing tends to revolve around such features. This, of course, is an outcome of the country’s racial past that continues to haunt us in this manner. In a sense our anti-bullying programs would have to be anti-racist in content as well.”

In order to deal with cyberbullying, as a first step it is vital to ignore the cyberbullying as much as possible, Whittaker says.

“Teens should do this as long as possible since most bullies give up when ignored. If the cyberbullying persists, however, clearly ask the person to stop.”

Teens should tell the bully that they do not appreciate what is going on and that the person needs to stop the behaviour. It is also crucial to be assertive and to say something positive about yourself to let the bully know how you feel about yourself and that you do not share the negativity of the bullying. If the bully still continues, the teen should tell someone in a position of authority and let there be consequences for the bully.

Whittaker is adamant that bullies need to be identified as soon as possible and find effective interventions for them to prevent cyber bullying.

“They tend to be angry and unhappy and often do not known how to deal with their own issues. They project their own negative emotions onto others.”

According to him, cyber bullying can lead to a negative self-image and feelings of insecurity. This is especially challenging to teenagers who are already struggling with identity issues.

“This is one of the main reasons why anti-bullying programs are so vital.”

(www.aap.org; [email protected])